They said, “We know you’re one of us! You’re so far in the closet you’re in Narnia!”
They said, “We see the way you mince about…”
They said, “You’ve got a big…” I should say, Fat. “You’ve got a fat bottom!”
Well… I said, “If you’ve got a big nail you need a big hammer to drive it home.”
Richard: My brother-in-law went on a stag night were they ended up cling filming the stag naked to a lamppost!
...Colin: At least he stayed fresh!
I have enough with the Jehovah’s Witnesses.
I soon throw them out.
Well, not THROW them out.
More like throw them into confusion.
They say, “Have you read the bible this week?”
And I say, “Did you know that Jesus was an alien?”
The bible is full of UFO sightings.
There was an old man on the doorstep with a young girl, about 16. I said, “If she comes in talks to me for a couple of hours then I might be converted!”
They didn’t look impressed.
Do you think that that was inappropriate?
Mind you, if the old man had agreed to visit the other houses while the girl converted me I would of got scared…
I like to get into arguments with them about Jesus being an astronaut. I tell them, "You believe what you want to and I'll believe what I want!"
I don’t like eggs. I liked bird’s nests though.
We liked bird’s nests when we were little.
You have a jacket potato. Cooked, of course.
Then you put the yellow of an egg in the potato.
You boil the egg then scoop the yellow out while it’s still runny and put it in the potato.
Then you put grated cheese around the yellow. In the potato. The spud.
Then you make the grated cheese look like a birds nest.
Lovely...Richard: Colin would make a good ‘Bond’ villain.
Sophia: He’d have to wear a tuxedo though.
Richard: Do you have a tuxedo, Colin?
Colin: No!
Not any more…
I couldn’t get into it anymore.
We were children then…
