Don't put a thief in your mouth to steal your brains

I went in the toilets at the station this morning.

I asked at the station, first, if they had a toilet. I knew that they had but I thought I’d better double check. So I asked. Before that though I asked if there would be a toilet on the train and they said that were was but that there was no paper in it!

When I went in it was occupied. Every area of the toilet was occupied. So I went outside for a few minutes. When I went back in there was a drunk! And do you know what he was doing? He was urinating in the sink.

I suppose that you don’t care what you’re doing when you’re that sozzled.

As John Wayne said, “Don’t put a fool in your mouth to steal your brains.”

No, wait a minute… it was… Kim Derby (he would drink double gut buster whiskey) and he said, “Don’t put a thief in your mouth to steal your brains.”