"Melons"

You should be proud to be English.

You support the Royal family though, don’t you?

I do. I’m all for them.

The only one of them I really have any time for though is Lady Helen “Melons” Windsor.

So named because she had, you know... *whistles*

I remember she used to work in an art gallery and had some trouble with a stalker. She and the staff had to barricade themselves into a room at the back of the shop!